I would call you up every Saturday night
And we both stay up till the morning light
and we sang, "Here we go again"
and the time goes by
I will always be
In a club with you
In 1973
Singing "Here we go again"

Waking up to the tune of James Blunt's 1973 reminds me of the past, I looked out to the window and I saw nothing but tears of my eyes. I then stood infront of the mirror and all I can see is a paled looking Donavan Demitre. Yes, I am Donavan, who lacks the will to live after my wife, Emily passed away in an accident who took her away from me.

In the suit that Emily bought for me at Robinson's, I walked alone on the pathway where we used to walked together with her arms around mine and whispered "its cold" and that's when I will hold her tight and never let her go. David, my best friend since Elementary schools told me not to live in the past but enjoy and treasure what God has for me, but how could I? Emily's been there for me when I am fragile, when I am strong, when I need someone to share my joy, and when I need someone to mend my broken heart. David would just walk away and sigh whenever I speak of Emily.

Perhaps I need to move on, perhaps...

A bite of the chicken sandwich from The Olburn reminds me of the smile on Emily's face when she's preparing our breakfast. Again, I felt so fragile and useless without Emily in my life, I knew that Emily wouldn't want this to happen but how am I to live without her? how am I going to survive without her encouragement? How am I going to enjoy the happiness to the fullest without her sharing it with me?

I tell myself, I need to move on..

I realised that I can still live without Emily but memories we shared still lives in my heart. I know I can be stronger when she looks at me from Heaven. David rang me up for a drink at Jim's, he told me that I am different now, am I? We drank and we talked about how we grew up and the times when we used to be naive and innocent, we lived everyday as if its our last. I guess I can do it now too, I want to live not to make myself feel better but to see her smile everytime I close my eyes.

I guess, I moved on..

Today, its raining and I stood infront of the grave with her favorite flower, telling her how I lived through the years without her and how much I missed her smiles and the scent of her hair. I thought I saw her when I looked up into the sky when the sun came out after the rain, she was smilling at me just like how she smiled at me on our first date! Again, I cried but with a smile on my face and I promised her that I will live my life the way it should be and tell her the story when I see her in Heaven.

I cried, I smiled and I lived...